Jack B.

It has been an emotional week here at our home. Last Wednesday started as most do in our home. After breakfast, Eamon was complaining of a sore throat, so I cancelled our commitments for later in the day, tucked him back in bed and sat down with Aine and Benton to watch Rainbow Loom instructional videos. I took a break from the rubber band manipulations to hang our sheets out and throw another load of laundry into the washer. While outside (yes, our washer and dryer are outside - yes, it is odd), I heard my phone ring, I asked Aine to grab it, but she was too late to answer and didn't recognize the name or phone number. I dismissed it thinking it was a telemarketer, so I finished my task. When I looked at the number, I also did not know it. I called it back thinking I could be removed from "the list." The dial tone was weird, so I hung up. As I did, my voicemail chimed. It was my uncle's phone; my mom's voice was on the message. I knew immediately when I heard my mom's voice.

Just two days prior I had said goodbye to my mom and dad as they left for a cruise of the Mediterranean. I was charged with checking on their house, so they reiterated the details. They would be traveling with three of my mom's brothers and their wives. It was to be a fantastic adventure, and I would not see them until later this month. Their trip drastically changed. While walking along the streets of Venice, my dad became very tired. He and my mom dropped back from my uncles and aunts. He continued to complain of fatigue and that the walking was too much. My mom started to walk ahead and heard him stumble. She turned, and tried to catch him as he collapsed. She began CPR, the police arrived, an AED was used, others tried to help; it was to no avail. He died there in Venice with my mom at his side.

This past week has been surreal. My mom had to deal with the Italian authorities, her travel insurance and the local consulate. She was finally able to return home last Friday. My dad's remains are still in Italy. We are trying to move ahead, but it is tricky. My kiddos cried when told, and now say it just feels like GrandDad is at work. My siblings and their families are here and create quite a distraction, which I appreciate. It will just be hard when it is quiet again. I am very sad for my mom, and hope my local brother and I can help her through this next chapter of her life. She is tackling it with much grace and poise although she feels broken inside. I am very sad for her and for us all.

Where I've been...

Almost a month without a post here. Of course, we have been busy, but it has been more. Initially I was thrown by the events in Connecticut. How to return to this space with tales of our creations and adventures with such sadness overshadowing the world? I wondered how such a thing could happen. Why children? What went wrong? How did we as a society fail? Is it guns? Is it mental health? It just seemed to be too much. So, I held my babes close, and we lived each day embracing our amazing life. Then it became more. We were busy. I was busy. Being present was the foremost thought in my mind. So, I stayed away. I wasn't sure how to return and plus, we were having so much fun.

We continued to make gifts for those close to us. We ventured into the making of salves and lip balm. I knit a last minute small animal gift for my youngest nephew, who has a penchant for putting things in his mouth (I realized the already wrapped watercolor peg people would not be good for him. I figured his parents would not like finding him with a stained mouth and tongue even if I assured them the products were non-toxic!). Aine made pipe-cleaner jewelry and other amazing gifts, while Eamon practiced and performed a dance as his gift.

We spent a lot of time with friends too. Eamon taught a Japanese marbling class to a small homeschooling group of friends. We celebrated Solstice with our homeschooling community. Our large group gathered to share gifts of the heart with one another in a festive celebration of gift-giving, food and laughter.

Our family welcomed a new nephew/cousin into the mix and heard tales of a new niece to arrive later this year. We tried capturing a multi-generational photo much to the disapproval of the three year old in the group. We went on a hike and took many bike rides. And we had, to quote my children, "the best Christmas ever." (more on that later!)

So now the New Year is upon our family, and we have many more adventures ahead. I am not sure where this year will take us, but I know we will be together enjoying one another and carving our path with laughter and fun.

Helping

Helping GrandDad is a valid reason for being late. All three kiddos helped my dad in the yard and were so excited to do so. They raked pine needles which he blew off the roof, trimmed plants, fixed a trellis and rode in the wheelbarrow. An added bonus was new work gloves all around. No one worried about missing part of their park day. They were having too much fun.

Gifts from the Hardware man

"Ask the oldest man in there for help." These sage words guide my actions whenever I enter a hardware store. My dad would tell me this whenever he sent me to the store looking for something specific or a little advice on a project. Although he wore a suit to work everyday, my dad was the ultimate DIYer. Now in his retirement, my dad, or Grandad to the kiddos, works in a hardware store.

This job delights my children. They love going to "Grandad's store." We visit for canning supplies, paint, nuts, bolts and anything else we think we need. A local hardware store is a fantastic place to visit. Most of the people inside know a lot about fixing, installing and creating. Grandad is no exception. Whenever we want to make something or fix what is broken, we ask him. He not only shares expertise but also his tools.

Grandad continually keeps us supplied in tools. He and Grandma outfitted each of the kids with a hammer, screwdrivers, tape measure, etc. Often when we visit with him, he gives us a new tool to discover. Recently he brought the kiddos a siphon.

The next day Aine asked to try out the siphon. She quickly found scissors and removed the bulb and tubing. The two of us went into the bathroom with two cups to check it out. After filling one of the cups with water, I showed her how to squeeze the bulb a few times to start the flow of water. She marveled at the flow of the water. The experiment was performed many times. Aine called Eamon into the room and showed him how to work the siphon. She explained that the source tubing and liquid had to be higher then the exit point of the tube. He also was amazed. The two of them used the siphon for quite some time. I later told them a bit about how a siphon works. It was a terrific tool, and they are glad Grandad shared it with them.

DIY

My dad is the consummate DIYer. He will tackle any project. Growing up, he had a plan for everything, and it often involved child labor. We moved river rock, shoveled dirt, dug holes, painted rooms, hung ceiling fans, ran electrical lines, moved outlets, installed telephone lines, built a swing set, chopped firewood, changed brakes/water pumps/alternators/oil, laid brick, and installed irrigation. You name it; we did it. Work was truly a family affair.

Benton and GrandDad

It has always appeared that my dad knows everything. For every project he has a story about how he has done this particular thing many times. His recount often includes one time when he was quite young living next door to the Avery's. His knowledge is truly extensive, and it is only surpassed by his tool collection. Having the right tool definitely helps when you tackle so many things. He has whatever you need for the project. Some of his tools are old, and most have a history. A few need a bit of work, but all are perfectly good in his mind (and don't tell him otherwise). 

His perfectly good wheelbarrow

My dad works hard, however, he does not work well with a deadline. Some tasks can take a very long time. (Don't even get my mom started on that one.) He made our playstands, but it took a lot of gentle nudging. Projects can last many months and occasionally years.

Benton and Grandma holding the tether

The most memorable DIY project as a youth was installing the landscaping. My parents bought a new house in the early 80s that came with no landscaping. Instead of hiring someone to do it, my dad felt our family was up to the task. He had the dirt excavated from our neighbor's pool installation deposited in the street to help shape the front yard. We shoveled and moved dirt to sculpt the rolling yard. Once that project was done, we trenched and installed irrigation lines. Then he had river rock delivered as well as granite. We shoveled and raked until I never wanted to see rocks again. Finally we laid sod and planted trees and scrubs.

Eamon waiting to use the pickaxe, while watching GrandDad with the chainsaw

A bit later, we tackled the backyard. My dad joked that as a family we would dig the diving pool. I wasn't completely certain he was kidding until the contractors arrived. When the pool and playcourt were done, he decided he wanted some of the front yard rock moved to the backyard around the pool. We shoveled and moved the rocks again. Finally it was finished. Or so we thought. I think we moved those rocks a total of 5 times. I was certain no one ever had it worse than me.

I spoke with my brother today. He is in town to help my parents with some household chores. I asked if he was moving rock. He wasn't completely sure that it wasn't on the list. We joked a bit about past DIY projects.

My brother's work boots

The kids wanted to see their uncle, so we went to say hello. True to form, we ended up helping. We didn't move rock, but we did remove a few scrubs that have grown beyond their space in the past 25 years. Eamon, Aine and Benton learned how to shovel, hoe, use a pickaxe, remove an agave stump, feel an agave center and sweep. They LOVED it. There was a lot of joking around with my brother and parents. I could tell my dad was happy.

As it turns out, my dad was right. Work is still a family affair.

Christmas 2009